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I have never had allergies before I moved to Fresno. Well, maybe I did but they were at worst, seasonal and I didn't notice them very much. But the past couple of years, since we moved here, it has just gotten worse and worse. A few days ago, I decided it was time for me to start working out again, so I went to the gym with Sean. After I warmed up by walking for about 10 minutes, I decided to try to run... that lasted all of two minutes before I had an asthma attack! Add asthma to the list of things I've never had before living in the Golden State. Sheesh. So, after going to the allergist (who I'm sure make a killing at business here) this is what I wound up with... 4 new daily medications. And the best part? They're all name brand. That's right... no generics for a single one of any of these!!! My co-pay is $30 for each name brand drug... add that up and its a whopping $120 PER MONTH! So we'll see if these things actually work. And if they do, I guess I will considerate a small (ha?) price to pay for being able to breathe. But every time I stand at the Walgreen's Pharmacy counter, I can't help but think "You know how many cute shoes I could buy for $120??!!!"

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Ever wonder why our government keeps getting deeper and deeper in the hole? The answer is here on my desk. Ok, maybe not so much in one word, but the American government is painfully inefficient. These are just a handful of the papers its taken to get a certification for our mobile unit. And it took me literally all day to get this together.... 8 hours, dozens of phone calls, multiple signatures, 3 cover letters, organizational charts, lists and tables... sheesh! It is truly unreal how discombobulated our state and federal agencies are... no one has a clue what's going on with any department other than their own. I would say that I hope some day they'll get it right, and all get on the same page.... but I don't really see that happening! I think that somewhere, there's a whole other government agency that no one knows about, and all they do is laugh at the disconnect and confusion the other government agencies cause!

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This little purse is the reason I don't have a prettier picture for today. Don't get me wrong-- I love the purse. And I never have anything get lost in it. But, the downside is, its too small to hold my camera. So tonight as I was leaving our FPU class at church, there was the prettiest pink sunset in the sky. I rushed the 2 miles to my house to get my camera, but by the time I got home, then ran back outside to snap the shot, it was gone. :-( Who knew the sun could set so quickly?! I guess now I do. I'll be switching to my bigger purse tomorrow. Also in this picture above, you can see our FPU workbook and stuff... this class is so great. We are so ready and excited to be paying off Sean's student loans sooner than we have to. Hopefully, by this time next year (or close to it) we will be debt free, except for our house payments!! I never realized how much of a tremendous blessing it was that my parents had a college fund for us kids, so we didn't have student loans. I think I'd be much more discouraged if our debt were twice the amount it is now. So it makes me all the more determined to provide that for my kids, too!

But of course, reaching our goal of being debt free, no longer slaves to any sleezy financial institutions does require sacrifice and saving and slicing a lot of things in our budget. So dear family, if you read this... Christmas presents may be a little slim this year. But we still love you! We're trying to pay off debt and live like no one else right now, so that later, we can really live like no one else. And we promise when that happens, your Christmas presents will really rock! :-)

And just in case you're wondering, our "pay off debt plan" does not include any more Coach purses anytime in the near or somewhat distant future. Darn! But when we do finally get it all paid off and our 6 months of savings in the bank and a retirement fund started and investments made and a college fund going, well then.......... :-)

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Gotta love California freeways at 5:00. Bah! I usually leave work around 4 p.m., and although traffic is bad then, its nothing compared to what it is at 5! Wow! This little on-ramp usually takes all of 5 or 6 seconds to zoom down it, then into my lane for the rest of the ride home. But today, it took nearly 10 minutes to go the same distance! Crazy.... and there were no accidents or anything... just lots of people! Sheesh!

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I have the greatest husband in the world. He is truly so good to me... so thoughtful, creative, loving and sensitive. After Whitney was born, he began to write a children's book about a little girl named Whitney Jill. All her friends call her Whitty J, because she is very smart and loves to solve mysteries. So the first book he wrote is about an adventure that Whitty J had with her friends, bunny and Seal the cat. They go on a hunt for Mr. Squirrle's stolen acorn. Its a great story... and for a guy who's never really even read a children's book before, it is incredibly descriptive and creative! I love it. I wish I knew how to go about getting a children's book published, because it really is a great first book with many more to come! For Mother's Day, Sean wrote me another Whitty J story. In this book, she goes on a hunt for clues to what Whitty J's mommy was like as a little girl. It is such a sweet book... he talked to my mom for some ideas and asked her questions about when I was little, then incorporated them into the book. He even used some of my baby pictures in it! I love the way Sean is using his gift for writing to keep the presence of our baby girl very much alive.

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Today is Mother's Day. I miss my little girl so much. I wish with all my strength that she were here to celebrate with me. Yes, its a tough day. But I have so much to be thankful for in regards to Whitney. I am so thankful that I got to experience all the things I did with her... the heartburn, the nausea, the moodswings, her kicks and flutters, contractions and giving birth to her. Most of all, though, I am so thankful that I now know what people mean when they talk about the love between a parent and a child. When I was younger, I tried to imagine what that might feel like, but I wasn't even close. Because I Whitney, I have a new level of understanding of God's love for me. And I am absolutely floored and humbled with that knowledge.

I've had this candle lit today... right now its sitting beside me as I type. The sweet scent of gardenias gently wafts my way as breeze from outside blows it in my direction. A sweet reminder of all the beauty I once held in my arms for only a day... and a glimpse of the promise that she has been restored and renewed, now praising her Jesus forever.

In other not-so-serious-or-sad news, my car hit the 100,000 mile mark today! Now, if only we can get that trusty Honda to go 100,000 more miles, I"ll be super happy! Sean and I drove around today until it hit the mark. lol... it was pretty fun. We went out to Kohl's on the other side of town to get a pair of shoes I wanted for our trip to Egypt. Then we went to Blockbuster to pick up Avatar on BluRay, and made one last pit stop for a 1/2 price Starbucks Frappuccino!

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Our dear friends, Tommy and Shiny, welcomed their first son, Elijah into the world yesterday. Today we got to go meet the little guy for the first time. Holding a baby is so sweet. I love the gentle, steady breathing and the tiny features that twitch move with a newness unlike any other. Sometimes, holding a new baby makes me a little sad, but for the most part, I'm ok with it. I even like it. No, I love it. I love holding tiny bundles of innocence in my arms, wondering what God has in store for them. Most of the time, I love holding babies, because afterall... I don't want their baby... I just want mine.