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Picture coming soon...

Today was our last day of Financial peace University. So far, we have eliminated nearly $6,000 in debt since we started the class in May. We have a ways to go until we are debt free but am sooooo looking forward to it!!

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No picture today... I'm horrible, I know! I forgot to take a picture... had my camera out and everything. But tonight I went over to my firend Christine's house and watched a movie, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants with her and Megan. It was a good time! Its been a while since I've watched a movie with the girls, so it was a fun last minute thing.

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Sean and Jimmy sometimes do announcements for church.... and this week, they wanted me to make the "Team Jacob" and "Team Edward" shirts.... no idea how the announcement video is going to turn out.... but it should be good. Oh, those boys.

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There are so many things I love about this picture... my cute husband working in the yard, my beautiful pink hydrangeas, my curious orange kitty, Sean's red truck that has been in my family for years... I love summertime! We had lunch with our friends Sean & Christine and Mandy & Jake. The rest of the day I spent just doing things around the house that I needed to get done (organizing receipts)! I cannot believe that June is almost over! This summer is flying by! And its getting really hot here in Fresno!

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Today is our 6 year anniversary! We didn't really have a lot planned for today, but last night we did have dinner at my friend, Kelli's house with a few other couples. Just for fun this morning, I tried on my wedding gown.. I haven't tried it on since the day we got married and I am happy to say it still fits!! When I pulled it out of my hope chest and unzipped the garment bag, the sight of it again took my breath away. It was even more beautiful than I remembered it being on my wedding day. I absolutely LOVED my wedding dress!

But even more than my wedding dress, I love my husband. We've had some tough time and lots of fun adventures. Through it all, he has remained my constant companion. He loves me more than I deserve and the greatest life partner I could have ever hoped for. In just the six years we've been married, we've traveled the world! Jamaica, Italy and this year Egypt. He is my best friend, my favorite person. I love him. :-) I spent a good part of the afternoon painting our bookshelves/window seat, then we went to church tonight. After church, we went to Riverpark for sushi then picked up some chocolate covere strawberries for dessert. When we came home he had rented "When In Rome" for us to watch. It was a great anniversary, and I can't wait for many more!!!!!!

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Today is a very sad day in the world of music... the one year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death. Last year, when the news first hit the airwaves that MJ had died, Sean and I were driving home from Sacramento. I absolutely LOVE Michael Jackson. I have been a fan of his since I was a little girl. My mom tells me of the time I saw a MJ shirt in a store... I looked at it and just sighed and said, "I love that Mackson Jackson." Today was my day off, and I spent a good portion of it working house projects while watching MJ tribute shows.... as you can see from my TiVo today. He was such an incredible artist and humanitarian, and its such a tragedy the way his life downspiraled. Without sounding too melodramatic, I miss him... I think he had a lot of artistry left in him that the world will never see now.

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I work with some of the most amazing women I know. And I am continually just so blessed by them. Every month we have an all-staff meeting where we get together, eat breakfast and go over stuff for work and just really fellowship. This month's was the first one I was able to be at since I had Whitney. They had planned the majority of today's staff meeting to for me... on of my friends, Sandi wrote a song for me and played it... She is so amazingly talented and the sone is just beautiful. She wrote it back in November when the staff I work with was fasting and praying for Sean and I. Sandi volunteered to take Thanksgiving day- what a sacrifice! They also presented my with beautiful quilt...each one of them made an individual square and it is so absolutely beautiful! THe ladybugs are so perfect. AND to top it all off, we celebrated birthdays today, and since mine is in July, I got tons of birthday cards too! To say I am humbled, blessed, honored, greatful is such an understatement. I love my sister in Christ so much and am so lucky and blessed to work with all of them!

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Isn't this a beautiful sunset from tonight?? This morning started off great-- The World Cup was on early this morning, and I awoke to all kinds of screaming in the living room! I only caught the last part of the game, but apparently, that was the best part of the game. USA won in the 91st minute! Then, as I was pulling into the parking lot at work, one of my favorite Garth Brooks songs came on the radio! Today was a good day... busy as usual, but still good!

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The moon was absolutely beautiful out tonight... it even sprinkled for about 3 seconds this evening! One of Sean's friends came over and they sat outside for a while... I am loving this great weather, but know the heat wave is about to come later on this week! Tonight I watched "My Sister's Keeper" movie... talk about a tear jerker!

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Today has been an incredibly busy day! This morning, we had Sean's doctor appointment to figure out what's up with his foot. The doctor looked at his foot and looked at his x-rays but could not find anything wrong with it. In fact, he kind of looked at us like we were crazy for coming to see him and for going to the ER. He said to come back when he was in pain and he could take another look at it, but we all know the probability of him being in pain when the Dr. office is actually open... slim to none. :-) So at least they didn't tell him he needed surgery right away-- that's a good thing.

Sean and I have been doing prayer walks around our neighborhood. Sean's pretty regular about it and I've started joining him. We had a couple of prayer walks up at church this month, too. Not a lot of people came out for those, but at least it was a start. We're praying for new opportunities to meet our neighbors and extend the Gospel to them. We've learned you can't get to know your neighbors if you don't leave the house!

PSA- Whaddya Think?

So I'm thinking about what to do for next year's 365 project... I really like the idea of doing some kind of blogging every day but to be honest, I don't really want to take pictures again for another 365 days in a row. So I've been trying to think of something different to do. And here's what I've come up with: Word of the Day. Ok, I know that sounds kinda boring, but I promise to make it fun. I'll choose one word (maybe a short sentence or phrase occassionally) that sums up each day, then a little bit of expounding on it. Somedays it will be a fancy word (the thesaurus is my friend!), others will be simple. And occassionally, I'll still include photos, too. So.... what do you think? I know I have a whole half a year (um, a "whole-half?"... you know what I mean) to think of this so I may still change my mind. But just wanted to get some feed back.... :-) Also, is anyone else thinking of doing a 365 project next year?? I've also seen people do weekly photos, but I'm more the kind of person who needs to do something daily to make it a habit. One thing I've seen that I LOVE is this stitchalong 39 Squares project. So I'm still open for inspiration for 2011's project. :-)

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Happy Father's day to the greatest day a little girl could ever have. We're sad she's not with us today, but know she is with our Heavenly Father. Can't wait to hold you again baby girl. We miss you SO MUCH.

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Last night was such an unusually beautiful night, and I was surprised to wake up to such a cool house! It was the perfect day for another prayer walk at church. This week, we met to walk in the neighborhoods surrounding our church. We had about 15 people show up this morning... not a lot, especially considering our church has more than 2,000 regular attendees, but both Sean and I were really encouraged by the people who were there. Ya gotta start somewhere , right?! We had a good prayer walk, then Sean and I went downtown to my office. (I forgot something that I need for this weekend's services with the Mobile Unit.)

We decided to have lunch downtown at Lola Rico's taco place... aka "the pink place." I LOVE LOVE LOVE this taco stand... its a bright pink A-frame building with seating only outside and they have authentic tacos. And the best part is that chili verde tacos are only $1 a piece! Yum!!! So Sean and I got our tacos, and as we were ordering a guy came up to us and asked if we wanted to buy a Blackberry. I said, "No thanks." Then he walked on. After we were seated outside eating, the guy came up again and started talking to us again about buying this (undoubtedly hot) cell phone. We kept declining, and I asked him if he wanted some lunch. I felt kinda rude just sitting there eating anyways. Now, this guy was dressed ok, he definitely didn't look homeless. But I'm ashamed to say that he was certainly 'sketchy' in my white-girl, north end of town opinion. I knew he wasn't starving or homeless, but that's not why I offered to buy him lunch... I just kinda wanted to. He told me his name was Anthony, so we went up to the pink counter and ordered him the Super Nachos. (Though the most expensive thing on the menu, they were still only $5.) There was another guy up there waiting for his food, and I could tell he was sizing up the situation (read: judging both Anthony and I). I ordered Anthony's nachos (hold the guac), and told the lady behind the counter that they were for him, and I went back to sit down to finish my lunch. The guy who had been in front of us in line walked past Sean and I as he was heading to his car with his food in hand.... under his breath, he said, "The guy obviously doesn't need money when he has such nice shoes on." Um... ok? I wasn't doing it because he asked me to buy him lunch, and I didn't do it becuase he looked hungry... it was just nice. And besides, isn't that kinda my decision? I just stared at the guy as he hurriedly walked on and got into his Mercedes. Sean and I finished our lunch, then went around to the front of the building to say good=bye to our new friend, Anthony. There's something about being blessed to be a blessing. Today, I feel very blessed... with my husband, our family and just life in general. So should I withhold that blessing from overflowing just because someone doesn't look "needy?" I kinda feel bad for Mr. Mercedes... I don't really know him from anyone, and I'm not trying to be hard in passing some kind of judgement on him, but I wonder if the way he looked at Anthony is the way he looks at everyone. I imagine the blessing Mr. Mercedes could be to strangers if he would only take a few minutes to look at them as he passed by.

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Yaay! Its Friday! All day, we've planned on pretty much just painting. I am so ready to get this bookshelf/window seat thing painted so I can start decorating it!! I got up around 8 and continued priming. I kept painting until about 3, and was so glad to have it all primed! Next weekend, hopefully we'll get it all done and my house can get back in order. Our friend, Jordan also came over today. Sean has been working on organizing the garage so Jordan helped him with that a bit. It will be so nice to have it more organized! It was so gorgeous outside tonight, I could hardly believe it. We even slept with the windows open! I love having a garden because it changes daily! Just today I noticed a new squash flower and three new bell peppers budding! It is amazing how these things grow from flowers!

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We have goofy cats. They tick me off beyond belief when they mess up my house, but they really make me laugh most of the time. Lately, Seal's favorite thing to do is chase the water coming out of the hose whenever I water our garden. Tonight, I was out watering and apparently, he really wanted me to play with him. He started getting INTO the garden beds where the water was falling from the hose. So I started making circles with the hose for him to chase, and after about 5 minute, he was worn out and soaking wet. It was so funny. Later on, I took this picture of Duke sitting on the patio. I was amazed he let me take his picture so close for so long... then I realized he was mesmerized by some birds on the fence. Such silly boys.

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BEFORE: AFTER:

I discovered my newest best friend.... Bar Keeper's Friend! Just look at the wonders it did for my kitchen sink!! I love this stuff! Sean was rather impressed, too when he saw it. Sean got home from Bass Lake this afternoon, then we took a little nap before heading off to our FPU class. Tonights lesson was on planning for retirement and college. I am so ready to get rid of the last bit of debt we have so we can move on to Baby Step 3. And then eventually Step 4... Step 5... etc!!

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Another day of the same 'ol, same 'ol. I need some inspiration to beef up these photos, people! Maybe I can come up with some kind of theme or something... I need some kind of "back up" plan for days when there really is just nothing interesting to photograph! My sweet kitty boys were so pooped out tonight after we let them play outside. They've also decided that they really really like the pillows we brought home from Egypt. They seem to think that they are meant to be their own "royal cushions". They fight over them and race to get to them first. You can see how annoyed Duke is that Seal stole his spot. Seany gets home tomorrow! YAY!

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Not a whole lot of excitement around here today... It's days like this that I really question this project.... It just gets kinda boring sometimes! I mean, do I really have something important to say every day of the year? Do I really do something photoworthy every day of the year? Definitely not... so.... a picture of today's dinner. :-) Sean is off to Bass Lake with the Junior high group today. He always has a blast on that trip. Tonight, I had to kill a mean, nasty-looking spider all by myself. Not. Fun. I don't like being alone at the end of the day... there's no one to talk to! I'm ready for Seany to be home!

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I usually don't work on Sundays, and since I go to church on Saturday nights, I'm usually snoozing til noon or so. But, today I got to go to Clovis Hills Community Church with the mobile unit! I am so excited about this! We are taking our mobile unit out to our supporting churches so they can see the awesome things God is doing at the Pregnancy Care Center. So I spent the morning out there, hanging out in my 'mobile office'. I only had a handful of people come over to tour it, but it was still good to be out there. Next weekend I am going to be at our church with the mobile unit! Today, my hubby looked especially handsome in his Egypt shirt. A couple people teased him, saying it looked like a blouse, but I thought he looked dashing. :-) He is also sitting on our window seat that has yet to be painted.... but we're working on it people!!

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This morning, we had a prayer walk up at church. Sean is the local missions/involvement pastor, and he did a great job organizing this. There weren't very many people there, but that's ok... its was still a good time to get together and pray all over our campus. In other news, my husband really is the greatest... in the midst of a rough week, he bought me this book to cheer me up. Another Stephenie Meyer book!! Although its significantly shorter than the Twilight novels, I've managed to make this Novella last almost a whole week. I cannot WAIT for the end of the month when Eclipse comes out!!!

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What a good day! We woke up this morning and started painting our shelves. Sorry for the quality of today's picture... the shadows were all weird. Sean actually woke up a lot earlier than I did... he woke up at 7 to watch the first game in the 2010 World Cup. I slept in until closer to 10. :-) We worked for a little bit on our shelves (this is gonna take a while) then around 2, I left for a mani/pedi appointment with my friend Megan. It was so nice to treat ourselves... its been a while since I had a mani/pedi! And my nails are so pretty now! However, note to self: if you want to get a lot of painting done, don't schedule a mani/pedi for the same weekend. When I got home, I had planned on painting more, not thinking about the money I'd just spend on my nails. My wonderful hubby came to the rescue though and finished up what we had started. Tonight, we went to Megan & Jimmy's for dinner then watched Alice In Wonderland. It was actually a better movie than I thought it'd be!

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Seany has been marinating this brisket for two days now. I couldn't wait to try it! He cooked it all day today, and we finally got to eat it for dinner.... it was SOOOO Yummy! Its a recipe from my Pioneer Woman cookbook. I LOVED it! And I love it even more when hubby cooks! :-) He's really good at anything he makes! Thanks, hubs for cooking tonight!!

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Today was another roller coaster day. But I am confident that he who began a good work in us will carry it onto completion until the day of Christ Jesus. We had our FPU class at church tonight, and that was good. We learned about investing tonight... something I admittedly know absolutely nothing about. My favorite part of the night, though, was after class. Seany and I went home and tried out some hookah tobacco we got in Egypt. It was nice just sitting outsie and enjoying the cool weather and each other's company... talking about life and our future, our hopes and our dreams. We are still talking about Egypt and how much fun we had there! This weekend we are going to try to paint the shelves Jimmy has been building. So... one more work day this week for me!

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Well, as of today, I've officially gone private with my 365 blog. Ultimately, this blog is a challenge and project for myself, so I just want to have the comfort of a little privacy, knowing that this can only be read by people who know and love us. :-) Today was another really crappy day. Even worse than the day yesterday. BUT, again, in the midst of a lot of turmoil, God brought me a ray of sunshine. More like a HUGE happy rainbow!! I had to meet a state inspector out at the mobile unit for an inspection. After passing with flying colors, I was on my way to meet Sean for lunch at Chick-fil-A. CFA is WAAAAAY far away from my work. Like, I work downtown, and CFA is WAAAAY uptown. But, I wanted to see my hubby, so I didn't mind. On my way there, my boss called and asked if I could stop back by work before I go to lunch. Well, I was practically already at CFA, so I called her and asked what was up. She told me there was a surprise at work and it'd be really great if I could come back ASAP. A little worried, I got my lunch to go, kissed my hubby and made it back downtown (in noontime traffic) in less than 15 minutes.

I walked into the office and saw a baby carrier on the table, and a few of my co-workers were just looking at me. I thought to myself, "What baby could I possibly want to see right now? And why would they call me just to show me someone else's baby?" But then it hit me.... OH! I know who this is!! Could it be?!??! Right then, one of the counseling room doors opened, and there was L, holding a precious, tiny, sleeping, two-week old baby in her arms. My eyes filled with tears as I ran over to hug L. L was my very first client that I saw at my work. She came in seeking help and information about abortion. I obviously can't give any more detail about her situation than that, but I can tell you that on that day so many months ago, I got to talk with L for more than 2 hours... about life, pregnancy, abortion, ultrasounds, God and HOPE. A few weeks after that, I stood beside her as she had an ultrasound done at our clinic and saw a tiny beating heart that changed both our lives forever. It has been quite a journey with L. When I first saw her, I was also pregnant. At the time, I had no idea that I wouldn't get to hold my baby alive. Through my journey with Whitney, I've thought a lot about L and her situation. It'd be easy to think that its not fair, why me, etc. But the overwhelming thought I've had all these past months is that I am just so grateful that L was able to see the value of life in her unborn baby. And here she was today. With her two week old baby... the baby who almost never was. Tears flowed like honey in Canaan... sweet, and long awaited. And again, once again, I was reminded of God's everlasting, never changing goodness. I have a purpose here. I am making a difference. He is giving me opportunities to share His love and truth, and to save lives. I cannot explain how great it was to hold that little one. Bittersweet, yes. But oh, so worth it. Honestly, it was second only to holding my own daughter. Thank you GOD for meeting me where I'm at, picking me up when I need it, and for always being the same. I wish I could post the picture of me with L and Little One, but again, confidentiality is big so I can't. That's why today's picture is just a pretty one of a pink flower from our front yard.

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Today has been such a horrible day. Too much that is so very inappropriate for even a private blog, but its days like this that I long for home. This is a fallen world full of imperfect people (myself included), but through it all, God is still good. And I am so thankful that God has given me my husband, an amazing partner, to navigate this crazy world and all its hurts together. I am also so thankful for my BFF Tracy who is always there for me... to listen to me cry and scream and (even curse) without judgement. She always brings me back to sanity. This morning, before anything crappy happened, another little ladybug (or maybe it was the same one from yesterday?) landed on my windshield as I was leaving for work. He clung to the glass as I drove all the way out of our neighborhood. I thought to myself, "Ok, this is going to be a good day." Boy, was I wrong. But I am thankful for that little reminder that God is good no matter what. And can you see what street I am on? (The pics blurry b/c I took it from my phone.) Whitney Ave!

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Sean is feeling much better today, and he's even able to walk on his own without the crutches now. I love this time of year because my flowers are starting to bloom, especially my hydranges bushes. They're HUGE and BEAUTIFUL!!! Unfortunately, the hydrangea bushes are getting rather unruly. Despite my efforts to cut them back last Spring, they still doubled in size! I'm gonna have to do some serious pruning this Fall. But for now, I'm loving having fresh flowers from my garden in the house! And if we hang out anytime this summer, chances are, I'll bring some for you too!! As I was inspecting them this afternoon, I found a friend chillin' on the leaves... a little lady bug. I love lady bugs. And I've really been missing Whitney lately, so this little ladybug just made me smile. A few seconds after I snapped this picture, the little booger jumped down my shirt!

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Early this morning (at 2 a.m.) I had to take Sean to the ER. He had surgery on both ankles when he was younger, and in recent weeks its been hurting him more and more. Last night, he woke up and couldn't even walk. The pain was too much for us to wait until morining when Urgent Care opened. We went to the same hospital where Whitney was born, and of course it brought back a lot of memories. Strangely, they were good memories (well, as good as they could be). While we were waiting, Brahm's Lullaby came over the speakers, meaning a baby had just been born. It made me wonder if they played the music when Whitney was born. I don't think they did. I miss WHitney so much right now. I feel like I had a couple of decent months, especially considering I started back to work and several of my close friends have welcomed newborns in those months. But now... I'm at a loss again. Questions of the future haunt me... Will we ever get our chance to drive to the hospital in the middle of the night with a car seat in the back? Will they ever play a lullaby over the loudspeaker for our baby? Will we ever leave the hospital as a bigger family than when we entered? Such a vacant hole fills my heart.

After a really long night of waiting and waiting amongst a bunch of crazy and sick people, I left to go find a bathroom. (No way was I going to use one in the hospital!) So I drove to Starbucks, and on my way back to the hospital, I drove a little past where I usually turn in... towards the mountains. I started driving down the road, and the sun was just behind the mountains, its rays already spilling over the summit and onto the valley below. Less than a minute or two later, the sun was cresting above the peaks. Morning had come. I wish I could say that it made me feel all better, that my heart no longer hurt or felt broken. But it didn't. I still hurt. There's still a hole. But seeing the rising sun did remind me that Jesus is light, and light- by its very nature- floods the darkness, consumes it. (I snapped a picture on my cell phone, thus the poor quality of the photo.)

Lord, I know some day your light will flood even the darkest corners of the hole in my heart. Please hasten that day! For now, though, I will rest in knowing you are the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Thank you for the reminder of your unfailing love, but please God, please... show me the way I should go. I helplessly lift up my soul to you.

PS- We're not really sure what is wrong with Sean's foot... it is probably something that has to do with the implants he has in both ankles and will need surgery again. He goes to an orthopedist in a few weeks and we'll know more. :-(

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I love Fridays. For now, they're my day off. I'll be changing my day off as soon as our mobile clinic is out, but for now, I have 3 day weekends all the time. Its great! I usually spend most of the day cleaning and getting done my "have to" stuff that I don't have time to do during the week. That way, I can really enjoy the actual weekend. Today, Seany went fishing with some of his buddies. He's so cute when he talks about getting ready to go do something with the guys. (And I'm sure he'll kill me for writing about this.) But it just makes me so happy to see him happy about spending time with his friends. I guess there's just something that's kinda attractive about my guy getting out his tackle box and fishing gear... lol. I dunno. Am I the only one? He's in his element when he does "guy stuff" like that and I love it. So today's picture is my cutie fixin' to go fishin.'

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The weather has been absolutely beautiful the past few days. If you had told me that it would be the beginning of June and we'd barely be using our A/C, I'd think you were crazy. But its been great lately! My favorite part of the day has been the evenings. Sean and I have really enjoyed our back yard (thanks partly to Jordan for doing such a great job in cleaning it up for us while we were gone!). We have to water our budding veggies morning and night, so while Sean was out watering the garden tonight, the kitty boys and I sat out with him. Seal likes to chase the drips of water from the watering can. He goes really crazy over it... the only cat I know who chases after water instead of running away from it! I'm also liking feet pictures these days... it kinda gives a first person perspective on the shot, I think. :-) So to recap, here's a few things I'm loving lately:

1. the mild early summer weather

2. not using our a/c (read: saving cash money!)

3. our sorta cleaned up back yard

4. our growing flower garden

5. our goofy cats

6. twilight (as in the time of day, well and the books, but for this list, I mean the time)

7. primary-person perspective photos

8. apparently, alliterations

9. lists that fall one short of the traditional 10 items

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Back to work today! There was a lot to do and catch up on, but it was great to be back at work with all the ladies I love! I am still pretty tired from our trip... we went to be early last night and I got up with ease this morning, but I start to drag in the middle of the afternoon! I am still sort of unpacking from our trip and I had to show you this awesome necklace that I got while we were in Egypt. In Egypt, you can pretty much find anything you want. And if you can't find it, someone will make it for you. We were at a jewelry shop with mom one evening after dinner. She was picking up some earrings that she had made for a friend, and I saw these beautiful necklaces-- names written in Arabic. Sort of like Carrie Bradshaw's gold "Carrie" necklace... only mine is silver and written in Arabic. I love it! I put in my request at the jeweler and in less than a week, it was ready for me to pick up, just in time to wear it home! And it was really fun at the airport... people would look at my necklace and sound out my name-- "She-ann?" Yep! Good to know the guy spelled it right and it doesn't say something silly! :-) This is one of my favorite pieces from Egypt!

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Today we're mainly trying to recooperate from our trip! The jet lag isn't too bad, though we did got to bed before 8 last night! I'm working on laundry most of the day today and just unpacking. This picture is of some of the pretties I got in Egypt... alabaster candle holders, and all our fun brass stuff!!